Overcoming the anxiety and fear dragon

Managing your anxiety is a journey.  It’s a process.  I am no stranger to ‘stinkin thinkin’.  I was an anxious child growing up.  I was the master at putting a negative spin on things.  I do brain gym each and everyday to challenge those thoughts because I want to continue to believe in Magic.

 

I was thinking this afternoon about the four year old version of me.  She loved the dressup box!  My oh my how she loved it!  I always wanted to be a bride. My childhood love of fairytale romance and ‘Happily ever after’   So everyday all the kids would get to play along in my happily ever after fantasy.  It comes from growing up in a broken home.  No, this is not a pity party story, it’s simply the shaping of who I am.

 

Often I cloud my mind with negative self-beliefs or assumptions about others.  The biggest tool I have learnt along the way to put into my treasure trove is challenging those thoughts.

 

I write them down on a page and then I question them

• Is this real?
• Have you asked the person involved
• What fear is sitting behind this

It’s amazing what you can bring to life.  

 

Facing your fears in the mirror everyday isn’t easy.  I’ve spent the last 2.5 years since my life was almost taken promising myself that I would make the most out of the extra time I was given.  That I would continue to explore and develop myself.  That I wouldn’t settle for boredom or for lack of satisfaction and that I would seek out my passions no matter how scary.

 

The road ahead of you is filled with options.  Some options are easy and most of the fish swim down that path too.  It’s comfortable, it provides a roof over your head and food on the table.  But that path doesn’t have a spark, doesn’t have a platform of risk involved.  You see, life is about failing. Life is about falling.  Wether it’s falling in love, falling over as a child when you were learning to walk, falling out of plane with a parachute strapped to your back or falling on your feet again.

 

It’s a really freeing feeling to finally not let fear get in my way.  It doesn’t mean it’s gone.  It’s just the little gremlin sitting in the backseat of my car now.  I never let him touch the steering wheel anymore.  Joy is in the front.  Similar concept to one of my favourite childrens films “Inside out”  

 

I’m freeing my inner child.  That is what it means to be a Joyologist really.  Freeing those childlike inhibitions and letting go.  The difference between when we are children and now, as we step into out adult lives?  We have mum and dad holding our hand.  It’s like the training wheels are off now and it’s more scary to take big risks because where is our safety net if we fall?

 

For me, I find it easier to reflect back on how far I have come.  I remind myself of times where something really terrible happened and how I overcame it.  You see in our darkest moments we do seem to find the strength and the know how to pull through.

 

We come here for personal growth, for soul evolution.  We don’t come here to play it safe.  

The road is a wild one but taking the path less travelled, so entirely worth it in each and everyway.

 

Talk soon,

 

Your resident (gypsy soul) Joyologist.

Negativity Dieting

How to Detoxify and shift your life by focusing on the good

I have been reading “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay recently.  It’s a fantastic book all about working to retrain your thoughts to be more positive and that with the power of the mind you can achieve anything and bring beautiful manifestations into your life.

In the chapter I was reading this morning she talks about the concept of a “negativity diet.”

I found it quite amusing to see this as often when I speak about things that are irritating me or not going well in my life my mother often tells me that she can’t talk to me further and that she is currently on a negativity diet herself and to call back when I feel like talking about something more positive.

Louise states that so many of us waste time going on physical diets, trying to shed weight to feel better about ourselves when the root cause of the issue is in fact something deep within our psyche that is causing us to not eat right and pile on the pounds. Yes, a percentage of it does come down to genetics and not everyone can have a supermodel stick-figure body but everyone can be healthy with the right focus.

This “Negativity Diet” is not physical.  Instead of abstaining from the wrong foods you abstain from the wrong environment, dialogue, people etc.  So what are the first few steps to take?

1. Stop saying out loud and in your own head, words that are negative and not affirming.  Remove yourself from gossip and drama.  Everyone has something going on in their lives that isn’t ideal.  The more focus you put into it though the worse off you feel.  Once again referring to what my mother always tells me “Be solutions focused.”  If you identify a problem, focus on how you are going to move forward. For example

“I am so sick of my job it’s so stressful.”-  this sentence can shift to an action step to progress you further towards what you desire.  “Now that I know what doesn’t serve me, I am going to spend 30-60 minutes an hour doing self study, expanding my personal home business, I am going to invest in sessions with a life coach who might help me to find a new life purpose etc.”

2. Stop spending time with people who always talk negatively and drain your energy. 

It can be really hard to be honest with someone when you have observed that they often only talk about all the things that are going wrong in their lives.  Perhaps they always bag other people and gossip or make fun.  Do you have someone in your life currently where you feel like they are your constant emotional offload for them to detoxify all their angst on to you?  It’s pretty draining huh?  It takes courage and confidence to provide that feedback to them.  Sometimes, they may be completely unaware of how they come across until you bring it to their attention.  Othertimes however, they will only see your honesty as a criticism and react poorly.  Don’t take this on-board though if you deliver the message with the right intentions.  If this is their reaction though, it’s time to walk away and spend more time with those who inspire, build you and affirm.

I encourage you to trial it for a week, when you hear yourself thinking something negative or saying something out loud, ask yourself how you might reframe it or bring a solution to it.  As much as possible try not to verbalise anything like this and use words of encouragement instead.  It is extremely freeing and will make you feel much lighter.

 

Experience

 

 

The world is full of so many amazing beautiful places. We are so fortunate in this day and age to be able to travel to any of them so quickly. I love culture and anthropology. I love getting to know people, studying architecture and art, food and the history of places.

There is a certain energy that you pick up on when you travel to a place that is steeped full of history. There is so much to soak in no matter where you go. I can’t wait to go on my trip overseas next year and experience international dishes. When I think about food and relate it to passion it makes me think of the Italians. It makes me think about people gathered around a table indulging in fine wine, laughing and sharing stories. I imagine a man sitting in the corner playing Spanish guitar (Yes a different culture I know but this is how my imagination tends to work). The best thing about travel, is the people and the stories they tell. The impact that they have on your lives. How you can meet someone on holiday and they make an everlasting impression on you astounds me. It’s quite magical really when I come to think about it.

I guess the impetus for writing this today is that I am trying to train my mind to think about my blessings not my problems. One of my greatest blessings in life right now is my opportunity to save and work towards this travel goal of mine that has been building up for a very long time now. It all started when I was a little girl and I got my first taste of international travel. My grandparents took me to Bali, one of the most spiritually connected places on earth, in my opinion.

I was only seven years old at the time and so I hadn’t quite developed my appreciation for foreign food. I spent most of the time eating Pringles. However, what I remember most fondly was the people. The kind spirit of the local people and the introduction to their culture. The dancing and the music was phenomenal. The other aspect that I love and admire about the Balinese is their dedication to their faith. Seeing them come rain or shine go out to their shrines and burn incense and place fruits and flowers as an offering to the gods. It was an amazing spectical to watch. They have such a peaceful air about them and a genuine care in their smiles.

 

The earth is filled with so much colour and vibrancy. It all comes down to what you choose to focus on. Yes we shouldn’t close our eyes to what is happening around us that is negative. We must find ways to find solutions to these things. However, we must train our dialogue both internally and externally to talk about our joys and to talk about the things that we are grateful for. “A lack mentality will create a lack reality.” I believe it was the great Albert Einstein who said that and it is so true. We can all fall into our own patterns where we find it so easy to complain or bitch. A certain someone in my personal life gave me some great advice the other evening. Sometimes the best advice can be hard to hear at the time. I was sitting in the car with him on Oriental Bay bawling my eyes out after quite a stressful day, I was tired and worn out and just generally fed up. The moon was due to be full a few days later also and I always go a bit crazy at this time. He sat next to me and said “you are better than this!” At first I felt offended and a little mad. Better than this? That’s not comforting. But then I took the time to consider what he meant and where he was coming from. I am better than feeding my mind with negative thoughts. I know how to focus on positives and I know how to turn a situation around. At that point in time I was not using my personal tools and I was choosing to wallow.

That is one of the most beautiful things about companionship. Sometimes you just need that person in your life to sit on a rooftop with (or in this case oriental bay) at 2am and just look at the night sky and think about how small you are in the grand scheme of things. It’s the practicing of mindfulness that makes this journey that much easier. We can be on such a coffee buzz that we forget to stop and think and to smell the roses. We forget to step back and look at everything from the bigger picture.  I am a big fan of people being exactly who they are. However, I am also a big fan of having that person next to you who can show you your potential. That’s what travel does to. It shows us that even though we have grown up in one environment, other environments have a lot to teach us too. A wise man in bali, a spiritual healer actually, told me last year that I live in my head too much. “You, why you thinking so much? Just you need to smile! Not worry. Not good for your heart!” It was like having a conversation with Rafiki from The Lion King (my favourite childhood movie).   Happiness begins with you internally, and is then influenced from what wisdom you can learn from what you experience. Go and grab as many experiences that you can. Have some bad experiences, because you learn the most from those. Most of all, remember to stop from time to time and reflect on where you are, how far you have come and what you do have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

997

The timing has to be divine

 

We can be so impatient in our lives.  We know what we want. We would really like it if it could happen right now! Whether the thing in question is as simple as the satisfaction of a food craving or something a little more major, like the perfect relationship, or a job offer.

 

I have had my own personal battles over the last month whilst trying to find work.  It is somewhat disheartening when you have been convinced that investing $50,000 in your education is going to put you in good stead and set you apart and then you get rejection after rejection.  In these circumstances, it certainly is hard to keep your confidence levels up.  I am keeping my head held high at the moment knowing that this is all about divine timing and the right thing for me will pop up when it is meant to.  In the mean time I am making the most of the break from the 9-5 lifestyle, working on building my business and creating mental pictures of where I would really like to be career wise further down the track.

 

I have always enjoyed helping others and had originally planned to be a psychologist so, after travelling, I am considering doing some further training to become a certified counselor or youth worker.

 

Meditation has been so valuable to me over this time.  It may seem cheesy and a little over the top but lying in bed at night listening to beach sounds backed with classical music is a bit of a saving grace.  I am leaving everything up to God and the angels and counting my blessings.  We spend so much time focusing on what we don’t have in our lives that we can forget to count our blessings for the things that we do have. I have been so grateful towards my friends over the last while.  I get so many encouraging messages asking me how the job hunt is going and complimenting me on my skills and abilities.  It is really important to focus on these factors rather than the rejection calls and letters and the comments about me being unemployed, although sometimes mentioned in jest, I can’t help but take personally.

 

 

A technique that I like to share with my friends and clients that is an oldie but a goodie is to close your eyes and imagine yourself in the situation where you have achieved your desired outcome.  A few months ago I took an evening stroll with a girlfriend, we were both quite frustrated with the situations that were arising in our love lives and so we asked each other to describe ourselves seven years in the future, what would it look like?  I said to her that I imagined coming home from a business trip and my husband is standing at the sink and it is filled with bubbles.  He’s making bubble moustaches with our two children and I walk in the door and they run up to me in their pyjamas yelling “Mummy, Mummy!” I cuddle them and give them big kisses and my husband and I tuck them into bed and read them bed time stories with animation, because we know how much I love dramatic play.  Once the children are asleep him and I cuddle up on the couch in front of the fire and share a glass of wine and chat and I smile because I am so happy to have a loyal man in my life who is such a great father.

These visualisations may seem a bit far-fetched or silly but the powers of these techniques are not to be discredited.  Often we say we want something but we haven’t even imagined ourselves having it.  We haven’t thought about what it would really look like.  It’s like having a friend ask you if you would like something sweet from the dairy and you say yes with no description of what you want and they bring you back a Turkish Delight bar.  You may have failed to mention that you don’t like those.  If you use this same example in the context of the universe, don’t ask the universe for something generic and then be disappointed when you don’t get what you want.

 

Literally weeks after my visualisation I started dating this amazing guy, who I am still dating, I know what some of you are thinking and no I am not fast forwarding to seven years from now.   I am simply stating that he fits so many of the characteristics of the kind of guy I was trying to visualise for the long term and I am so happy.  I truly believe in the power of visualisation as opposed to forced creation of a reality by trying to make things happen.  Things work out in their own ways so just remember to try and think of how beautiful things will be when they work out for the best.  Don’t give in to fearful imaginings of the word case scenario.  Worry about that when it happens, which 99% of the time it doesn’t.

 

I think I am going to focus on doing this same visualisation technique this week when it comes to finding my dream job and see how I go.  I am definitely feeling like I have more clarity at the moment however and I must say how refreshing that is! I hope some of you can find ways to get creative with your own visualisations this week and have fun having a play.

 

As always, Love and Light

 

Hannah

Be true to you

We all have our personal struggles.  Not one of us can have the ego to believe that others are somehow exempt from their own internal difficulties. This is why jealousy is not only ugly, it is completely unnecessary because you can never successfully assume that someone else’s life is perfect or that it will continue to be smooth for an extended period of time. The most difficult thing we have to overcome is the internal dialogue that goes on within our own minds.  For me personally, my belief in God and the angels is what has gotten me through a lot of my most difficult moments.  However, I have often been persecuted throughout my life for my belief in such things, sometimes even called mental.

I think it is an unkind thing to do, to belittle someone and to make them feel patronised because they choose to hold tight to something that perhaps ‘science’ cannot technically prove. But if something cannot also be unproven then does that make it any less worthy of belief?

I don’t walk around imposing my beliefs on others, and though I do share that side of myself on my personal social media profiles I do not force others to participate.  It has taken me years to come into my own confidence with who I am and what I feel connected to.  I have nothing against other human beings no matter what their religious or spiritual beliefs are or their sexual orientations etc.

Sometimes it takes a while to grow into your own skin and learn to stand tall. It is a case of deciding who you chose to give power and authority to in your life.  It is also a case of who you allow to have an influence over how you think, feel or act.   It’s the difference between being the giraffe that lowers its’ neck afraid to stand tall or the Giraffe that stands proud of who they are.

We all gather and acquire our belief systems from varying sources, no two humans have shared the exact same experiences and have been influenced by the exact same things, not even twins. As a result no one has the right to tell you what is right for you, they may advise you, coming from good intentions based on their own personal values and belief systems, but it is up to you to decide how you wish to navigate your way through life.

During the moments where you have to listen to the voices in the darkest corners of your mind, in times of solitude, it is yourself, your beliefs and your own tools that you must utilise in order to pull you through and come to find joy and fulfilment once again. I have spent a lot of time in the past trying to draw strength and peace of mind from external sources.  However, once you learn to spend that quiet, reflective time alone and not feel ‘lonely’ things begin to change.

I personally have noticed a real transformation over the last two years and perhaps this is what your twenties are all about.  Ironing out the creases and examining yourself not based on what others will think but based on what you feel and belief is right or valid.

 

Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans

It doesn’t come down to a justification of what you think you know about the truth. You can get to a place where you think you’ve figured stuff out and that you know how to know things, how to deal with things, how to anticipate things and that this thing called life is something you have complete control over.  Forget everything you think you know about how things are going to work out for you or which track you are on and don’t hold on to the image in your mind of how it was supposed to be.  Just let go and trust.

Some days are just plain awful.  They are days that test you, that pull you out of yourself and make you reconfigure yourself again.  No matter what you do, no matter what happens to you, let it empower you and keep you moving forward.  Everything that happens in life is a lesson and it builds you into the character that you are going to become.

I am finding it especially hard to keep up with myself recently.   It’s a little nauseating and I have grown tired of the Bertie Botts every flavoured beans variety of different emotions and feelings towards different things.

I’ve done a lot of soul searching this last week trying to figure out who I am as a person and what my true values are.  I’ve looked back over past memories and seen patterns that seem to repeat.  I know I play a part in some things, but there are also things I take responsibility for that I shouldn’t.

My main theme this week has been love.  A topic that is my favourite and my least favourite all at the same time.  It’s a topic I have been trying to get my head around since before I can remember.  I inherited the hopeless romanticism of both of my parents.  At this stage, I haven’t figured it out just yet so romantic love is in the “come back later” corner for now.  What has been amazing this week is the kind of love that never fails you…  I have been so cared for by people and it’s reassuring to finally be able to let my insecurities go that I have to always be happy bouncy joyful Hannah.  I guess I have a huge fear of rejection and so showing the true state of my underlying emotion isn’t always my forte but I am getting better at this.

Sometimes you just have to let go and surrender to a really sucky emotion and reach out when you need it.  Don’t be too proud to say you’re not ok when you’re not ok.  Friends are there to help because if you’re a true friend to them then you will have done the same for them at some stage or have the intention to do so in future.  It’s a beautiful thing when you can walk down the street one week on from hitting rock bottom and look up to the sky and smile and just shake your head and say, what are you doing to me.

I’ve had some weird coincidences this week, some things that are falling into place that make me wonder if maybe, just maybe, everything really does happen for a reason and something amazing is just around the corner because I feel excited, I feel weird, I feel different, I have this confidence back that I haven’t felt in a long time, I feel like the most exciting thing about this whole process of the last two years is that finally, I’ve come to love myself.

I am absolutely bananas at times, and I can be a lot to keep up with but I know how to laugh at myself and I still have that connection to my inner child where at the end of the day if it ends up being me alone again I can sit alone in a room and play.  Wether it be dancing around like a ninny with my headphones plugged in pretending I am beyonce, writing dreams and manifestations of how my life is going to be, pinteresting ferociously so that all that I am is recorded onto digital boards or watching films and movies that make me think about situations from a whole new perspective again.

I guess what I am trying to get across here is that nothing lasts forever, emotions don’t, feelings don’t, situations don’t, so live in the moment. When things are going well truly enjoy them and when things aren’t going so well allow yourself to feel it and learn from it and take what you need and then put your dancing shoes on and create a new state.

What if instead of spending hours in the past missing memories, or wishing we could change things, we painted pictures in our minds of possibilities and chapters we haven’t reached yet that are going to redefine happiness for us.  Slow down, take each day as it comes and take one step at a time enjoying the small things that come up along the way.  Life is about the journey not the destination.  Practice gratitude and smile 🙂

In the words of Taylor Swift “When I was drowning, that’s when I could finally breathe.”

Coming out of my Cocoon

I want to fall in love with myself.  I don’t mean that in an egotistical, big headed, way too much self-confidence way.  I just want to be a bit kinder to myself.  Give myself a break and become my own best friend. I want to get lost and piece myself back together all over again.  I want to visit and discover cultures that I have never encountered before. Come to understand new things that I am not exposed to here.  Learn new things about myself that you only learn from starting fresh and being stripped of all familiar surroundings.  I want to feel the rush of the unknown, meet new people, see new colours, experience new smells and taste the sweet salts of the earth.  I love my country.  New Zealand is a beautiful place. New Zealand is and always will be home but there’s a new fire within me that has been lit and I have changed and have become restless. These itchy feet won’t stay planted for much longer.

I’ve always been one to express myself through words.  I love language and expression and so the idea of travelling the world jotting down my thoughts dazzles and dizzies me and I cannot wait.   I have things I want to share but I know I can’t share them until I actually experience them. I don’t want to watch the women in the movies do it anymore, or live through my friends or fellow bloggers (I plan on improving at this whole blogging business by the way).  I want a journey of my own.  I have a burning desire to write and to continue my passion of helping others find direction by actually following some of my own advice for once.  I’m so good at telling other people how to follow steps and live out their dreams yet I have always sat back and watched.  I’ve been running a business for over three years (that shocks me to say) giving people spiritual advice with some successful results which makes me really happy.  It’s time to follow my intuition and do it for me.  I just want to go….  I want to sit on the banks of the river Nile again and look out at the sunset; a view so big it was as if I was on another planet.  I want to immerse myself in cultures full of vibrancy and smiles that in a western culture would seem so displaced.  I want to finally let my heart rule and not my head and that’s not in some soppy romantic rom com kind of way where some dude shows up on a white horse.  It’s more of a do what I want to do for me kind of way and not for anyone else.  Not for my parents, not for societies expectations, not for the could of, would’ve, should’ve or the devil voice on my shoulder.  Just me and my inner child that’s been waiting all these years.

We value such superficial things.  Possessions, Property, Metallic Coins, Plastic Cards, Status symbols. I’m not discouraging those who want other things than what I want but all I know is that I am no longer satisfied.  I’ve always had a restless heart.  I inherited it from my mother.  A gypsy soul.  I’m not delusional. I know these journeys aren’t always a walk in the park and I’ll face some real emotions too but that’s all part of it.    I want to collect memories, hearts, smiles and experiences.  I want to laugh again, truly laugh.  These butterflies in my chest are trying to lift me off the ground and they are saying go.   I want to wake up in a new place every other day.  I want to get to know new people and say goodbye only to find more.  For this is the reality of life.  It’s our holding on that destroys us.  Nothing is ever lost. Memories are never stolen from you.  People come and people go.  What is a constant and what always remains is you.  And you…you should always be enough.

That’s what I know now.  I am enough and I am almost ready to set sail.  I learnt something this past year and a half. Something that took me 23 years to learn.  It’s something that may seem so simple to some but it is way more than that to me.  Sitting in a room alone.  Being comfortable with my own company and knowing that loneliness is a false reality.  Being alone doesn’t make you sadly lonely the false pretence that being alone is something to be sad about is what makes you lonely.  So it’s time to make a plan, but not a rigid one, for I’m a chameleon soul and I change my mind often and I like to allow for a little spontaneity Perhaps that is the beauty of it.  I was destined to change my mind every day.  I take experiences and I grow from them and they change my perception of things.  I also take the time to consider other peoples points of view and musings.  I have 100 different personalities and egos and it can be a lot to keep up with, believe me.  I’m quite the mad hatter but I’m not going to apologise for that anymore or try and make myself more sane for the sake of pleasing people.  I love that I’m crazy wild and that I go up and down like a yo yo.  Or a child full of sugar on an indoor trampoline.

So what’s the point of all this?  This will be a documentation of my journey and what is going to happen I don’t know.  What I can be sure of is that this gravitational pull is getting stronger by the day and that it is time for me to finally acknowledge what I have known all along.

Merry Christmas and A belated Happy New Year

Christmas and New Year is funny time. It is a time to reflect, a time to share with family and with friends, and a time to celebrate our achievements over 365 days. However often this time of year for others is spent feeling a loss. There are many people, sadly out there who do not have family members to celebrate with. There are families who had planned a beautiful Christmas for their children and have had things stolen. This is a time of year where I like to give back. On Christmas day I was travelling from my father’s house to my grandmothers on the train and there was an elderly lady in my carriage with a Zimmer frame. When the train came to her stop she couldn’t get to the doors in time before the train started to move again. She was utterly distraught and looked lost for as to how she would get to her destination. I looked around the carriage and people just seemed frozen, I thought to myself “ is no-one going to help this woman.?” I got out of my seat and went over to her and offered her some cash for a taxi at the next stop. Other people on the train looked at me as if to say “why would you do that.” I couldn’t understand why it was so difficult for people to at least get up and help her. I would like to think in the not so distant future we could turn into a society that trusts each other again and doesn’t see helping strangers as such a task, perhaps if we were all a little more selfless and a little less selfish the world would be a better place. I’m not trying to be a preaching greeny here just saying it how it is. I look forward to paying it forward this year, perhaps not necessarily financially but at least even as that person who smiles to the other person on the street and makes there day. Happy 2015 everyone and may your new years resolutions hold fast and be completed.

Body Image and the dreaded demon-EXERCISE!

I crane my neck at times when I look at the advertising and imagery that is out there promoting beauty products to woman. Are we really supposed to look that superbly photo shopped? Is this the image we would want to project onto our young women of the next generation? We could sing from the rooftops that we no longer strive to be stick figures but perhaps we have become so used to skinny, flawless women being the status quo in marketing we don’t think to speak out. I drive past some of these billboards and I wonder if these women who are starving themselves really think they are all the better for it. It is time for a call to-change and to learn some ways to help bring these changes about. I guess the thing that makes me ponder is, how can we possibly send out this idea to women that they should all look like this cookie cut image when, of course, all women are different. Individuality and diversity should be celebrated not discouraged.

I could seriously drown myself in a box of chocolate fish right now. I love all things sweet and I do sometimes have a tendency to comfort eat. Unfortunately for me, and for the rest of us, chocolate and goodies don’t sit so well on the hips, bum or thighs. So it’s a balancing act between a moment of joy and hours spent in the gym. As a personal preference I do tend to find curvier women more attractive. Love her or hate her I think Kim Kardashian has a beautiful figure. I have had my own struggles with my weight. I tend to fluctuate I can be anything from 70kg to 90kg. Earlier this year I escalated to probably the most overweight I have ever been 92 kg. It wasn’t until family took me aside and pointed out what a drastic difference had occurred and that I started working on it. I tend to find I lose weight fast without even trying either when I travel or I am really truly happy. When I feel fulfilled in my life I don’t feel the need to comfort in, and I am so busy with my passions I don’t feel the hunger I usually do when I am depressed.

When it comes to exercise I have learnt this year that it is something that can be enjoyed. It doesn’t have to be a chore. I especially love my workout classes at les mills, having others around me to amp me up and keep me motivated is a great way to get the spirits lifted. I always feel amazing after a class.   I also love Bikram yoga, there is a great little place near to where I live and for only $15 you get an hour long yoga class as well as an all you can eat dinner and dessert. The people are lovely and it’s a great environment to go and feel Zen. Dancing and Zumba can be another great outlet for getting the endorphins going and shedding the weight. I love dancing around the room with a bunch of girls to the latest hits and latin tracks like I would (embarrassingly) in my bedroom to my ipod. Exercise is different for everyone and it is all about the finding the outlet that best suits you.

I’m off out to a party tonight and I was going to be a lazy bones and take the car but I have decided I am going to walk as I won’t have an opportunity to exercise today otherwise. Outdoor air is so refreshing!

All this body image and exercise stuff being said, at the end of the day all that really matters is that you are ok with you and within yourself. Don’t let others tell you who you should or shouldn’t be. Know that your body is a temple and take care of it but don’t let barbie doll ideals make you believe that you have to look like Heidi Klum or Miranda Kerr. Curvy is beautiful. So is a smile!

Friends

Friendships

I have always found friendships very valuable as I am sure we all do really. I love people. I love connecting with people and sharing in their lives, their joys, excitement, thrills, accomplishments etc. I also know the value of having friends that are there for you when you need them.

When I reflect on my friendships over the years the friends I truly cherish and respect are the ones who are honest with me, sometimes brutally. I need to know when I am too much and I also need to know when I am behaving in ways that are not ok. I can be trouble at times but I am growing, as we all too. Your friends are the ones who help you to grow. I love that quote from the notebook where Noah says to allie “you tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.” I like to think that this kind of conversation can be applicable to friends. I might be mad at my friends when they give me “constructive” criticism (euphemism) but it’s only because when I admit it to myself upon reflection later I know they are right.

I have never been comfortable with being a mean person but as I have grown up and as I am becoming a young woman I realise now the importance of knowing what it is that you value. How many of us sit back and actually think, what is it that I expect from a friend? How many of my friends are actually fulfilling those expectations. Since my new move back to Wellington this year I have had the pleasure of meeting some really amazing people and reinventing myself. I have also gotten back in touch with others I had lost touch with. It is truly amazing how we change, how we adapt and how 3+ years can make all the difference.

I’ve also been reflecting a lot on the kind of friend that I would like to be. I have come to know that in order to manifest and attract the ideal friendships into my life I need to be the kind of person that those sorts of people would want to befriend. This doesn’t mean having fancy things, or being popular etc (its not high school anymore) but more being honest, being reliable, but also being my bubbly, usually positive self. I want to be the person that always has something good to say about my day. That is why I have so loved participating in my 365 days of happiness group on Facebook. Documenting every day what made you happy in your day is a great way of reminding yourself what is great about life.

Even those of us who are introverted and solitary need people from time to time, its human nature. Where would we be without our friends. Friendship is about give and take and as I grow older I realise that it is ok to distance yourself from those you no longer seem to get that much from. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are bad people, it just means you have drifted apart. Acquaintances are therefore great too.

So many of my smiles through life have been because of my friends and I would like to think in 50 years from now some of the friends I have today I will still have then. Because life is about sharing moments, laughs, smiles, tears, achievements, joy. So thank you to my friends, my acquaintances and the people I have yet to meet along the way. Love and Light